Wednesday, March 7, 2012

February 29th, 2012

Lion King reference:
“Hey kid why you look so blue?” – Timon
“I’d say he is more of a goldish brown.” – Pumba

While my skin may be turning a very nice shade of golden brown, I am feeling really blue lately.  It the natural emotional cycle of a PCV to go in waves of extreme highs and extreme lows.  I’m in a low and not entirely sure how I got here.

One reason is the heat.  I think I have SAD (seasonal affective disorder) but because of too much sunlight, rather then the typical not enough.  I just need winter, and I need it to come now now (in Swaziland ‘now’ means sometimes in the future, ‘now now’ means at this very moment).  We have had a week of extreme heat with no breaks and its tearing me down.  Today I had to walk to the High school to teach the Health Club.  I was already grumpy and after the 30 min trek I was miserable.  I was dripping sweat, I couldn’t see from the sweat in my eyes, my clothes were stuck to me; my legs from the knees down were a shade darker from the combo of sweat and dirt.  My hut had been sprayed with indoor pesticide (that I was told it more poisonous then DDT – great) to prevent Malaria and I was having a not so good reaction to it.  My nose would not stop running and I felt like I had a mid-winter MN cold, but it’s the middle of summer.  I felt so out of control of everything. 

Once I got to school Addy and I found a shaded step to rest on in the back out of sight.  It seemed like the perfect place until I heard the whack of the punishment stick coming from the library.  Seeing the tear stained faces of the students emerge was enough to send me over the emotional edge I was teetering on.  I looked at Addy and said “I’m loosing it,” and tried with all the effort I had left to stop the tears from running down my face.

Addy, being the awesome person she is did help me by reading a blog post of a PCV in Ethiopia.  I have attached it below and want you all to read it.  He expresses what needs to be said.  Being a Peace Corps Volunteer is amazing, but it’s also the hardest thing I have ever done, its not all frolicking baby goats and rainbows (but frolicking baby goats are seriously one of the greatest things ever).

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